Day 2. I am home. Kind of.
While I am physically back in what grew up knowing as home, I feel that something has changed.I feel like I am too big for this place, and rather than just dealing with that, I am trying to be polite and respectful and am feeling very timid. I have to figure out how to act with people. In other places it was easy, I had someone along the way to tell me what was polite.. here i am on my own, so to speak.
My world feels very topsy turvy. I cannot wait for my love to get here. I have his picture as my wallpaper and truthfully, just gazing at that picture makes me melt and feel completely whole, all at once. He truly completes me and makes me feel like someone I want to be, someone I like. Each thing I watch on tv makes me think of him, and think of something I want to tell him but usually can't.
On the plus side: Only 11 more days until I can be in his arms, hear his voice by laying my head on his chest, and feeling his loving calmness just trap me for the few, wonderful days I have him.
Friday, August 31, 2007
Tuesday, July 31, 2007
Floating
Today, things are going much better, both mentally and physically. Well, not that I was physically bad yesterday, I was just having an over all feeling of blahness.
After writing in my blog, I linked my love to it and we talked. A lot of my anxiety is nothing that either of us can do anything about but I just have to wait it out and allow time to take its course. I can survive all of what will come. I know that in my heart and mind. Its the waiting that kills me.
When my love came home from work yesterday, we took a shower together, which has become a bit of a tradition for us, and then we headed out in the rain to a small playground by our house, just so we could be out and doing something light hearted and fun. It was lightly drizzling, but still warm. We played there for a bit, riding the see saws and laughing. After that we went for ice cream (Something we have both been craving lately) and sat down reading the first English newspaper I have seen out here. After that we walked home and relaxed for a while.
A long time ago my love bought me an enema and with it came a small bamboo stick (it was bought from a local mistress I believe, who had a bunch of these cane-like bamboo sticks to get rid of) He had forgotten about it for a while and yesterday I made the point of saying we should try it out. After relaxing and eating dinner, we decided that we should play. First my love shaved my pussy. I have only had this done to me once, by a man who was petrified and did a shit job at it, leaving me to do the rest. My love, however, did an amazing job, was so gentle and confident and I trusted him completely, allowing me to laugh and giggle at the new sensation of a razor on the lips of my pussy. I have done this to myself before, but it is nerve wracking when someone else does it to you and you can do nothing about it. I am now beautifully shaved and content, and my love has discovered a new hobby.
After that and cleaning up, we put on some Nine Inch Nails (An acoustic set of theirs. NIN is, for us, great scene music). I was blindfolded and had automatically curled up on my hands and knees. For the most part I stayed in this position, with a slight amendment of "Kitten, raise your ass up for me" followed by being called a good girl and being petted.
He started off with the paddle. Our paddle is just an old ping pong paddle that we took from his old house. It works wonderfully. He was very gentle with me, knowing that my mind was not ready to go into hard playing just yet. Slowly, he warmed me up with the paddle, his hands and then he started using the bamboo stick. He took the most joy out of using the bamboo on my upper back. He said it was leaving very beautiful but temporary marks. I was kind of upset because I would have loved to see the marks, but I am completely happy with not seeing since the best marks are the semi permanent marks, which are all within sight for me. After working my shoulders for a while, he moved back to my ass. For some reason, every strike felt like it was rubbing against my pussy, in the best possible way. My love knows me so well and alternated between the breezy bamboo stick and his very very warm hand. It drove me crazy. He then started spanking my pussy, which felt sublime, and I expressed as much to him and he has agreed to play with it more.
After a while, I was allowed to suck his cock as he spanked me. I have read all over the place about this elusive thing called riding the wave. Basically the way it was described to me was that you get so many jolts of endorphins that you begin to just feel like it is a wave, and enjoying it and relaxing in it is considered riding the wave. Last night is the closest I have come. Every feeling was pleasure. His hand on my ass, his cock in my mouth. My taste buds felt like they were cumming, just from being able to touch his cock.
After some time, he began to fuck me. It felt so lovely, to be completely shaved and soaking wet, because you better believe I was, and getting fucked. It was very intense, very deep and hard, yet tender. The word that would describe last night was tender, above anything else. Everything was just infused with love, and I could feel it more than ever. I believe that building a scene uses tension, and when there is tension in real life, then it gets melded into the tension of the scene, making the release that much stronger.
After we had both cum, my love decided he wanted to fuck my asshole. He started out very slow and steady and I could feel my mind bursting in joy. I have seriously become a huge fan of anal sex with my love, more than ever before. After I came a second time (Of course, after asking permission) my love mumbled something I did not quite hear at the time, but a moment later realized he had said "Your ass is squeezing my cock off." I guess that was the effect of the second orgasm! He quickly came after that and after we had both finished, we stayed there for sometime... I am not sure how long, but I think it was a while. Just very still, his cock in my ass, the blindfold still on. At that point, I began floating. My mind just detached from my body and I felt like I was in a tank without gravity. I felt like I was in a world without gravity. I knew that as soon as I was touched I would come back down (At this point I was so unaware of things that i did not realize that his cock was still in my ass) but he let me stay that way for a while. And when I was ready to come down, I moved back a little and my ass touched him and I was suddenly in our bedroom, with him behind me. We collapsed and worked on catching our breath and ended up in the shower soon after to clean up.
The shower seems to be a ritual for us. We share them and laugh in them. It is intimate in such a profound way, yet not sexual at all. I hate showering alone and am so glad that my love indulges me and lets me shower with him. We talked and laughed and reminisced about what just happened. Apparently he had been talking to me through the whole scene... and I remembered none of it. It was very surreal to have him tell me all that he was saying and me not remembering any of it at all. We laughed and hugged and then curled up in bed with some ice cream and watched some shows before we both went to sleep, completely satisfied, comfortable, relaxed, and in love.
After writing in my blog, I linked my love to it and we talked. A lot of my anxiety is nothing that either of us can do anything about but I just have to wait it out and allow time to take its course. I can survive all of what will come. I know that in my heart and mind. Its the waiting that kills me.
When my love came home from work yesterday, we took a shower together, which has become a bit of a tradition for us, and then we headed out in the rain to a small playground by our house, just so we could be out and doing something light hearted and fun. It was lightly drizzling, but still warm. We played there for a bit, riding the see saws and laughing. After that we went for ice cream (Something we have both been craving lately) and sat down reading the first English newspaper I have seen out here. After that we walked home and relaxed for a while.
A long time ago my love bought me an enema and with it came a small bamboo stick (it was bought from a local mistress I believe, who had a bunch of these cane-like bamboo sticks to get rid of) He had forgotten about it for a while and yesterday I made the point of saying we should try it out. After relaxing and eating dinner, we decided that we should play. First my love shaved my pussy. I have only had this done to me once, by a man who was petrified and did a shit job at it, leaving me to do the rest. My love, however, did an amazing job, was so gentle and confident and I trusted him completely, allowing me to laugh and giggle at the new sensation of a razor on the lips of my pussy. I have done this to myself before, but it is nerve wracking when someone else does it to you and you can do nothing about it. I am now beautifully shaved and content, and my love has discovered a new hobby.
After that and cleaning up, we put on some Nine Inch Nails (An acoustic set of theirs. NIN is, for us, great scene music). I was blindfolded and had automatically curled up on my hands and knees. For the most part I stayed in this position, with a slight amendment of "Kitten, raise your ass up for me" followed by being called a good girl and being petted.
He started off with the paddle. Our paddle is just an old ping pong paddle that we took from his old house. It works wonderfully. He was very gentle with me, knowing that my mind was not ready to go into hard playing just yet. Slowly, he warmed me up with the paddle, his hands and then he started using the bamboo stick. He took the most joy out of using the bamboo on my upper back. He said it was leaving very beautiful but temporary marks. I was kind of upset because I would have loved to see the marks, but I am completely happy with not seeing since the best marks are the semi permanent marks, which are all within sight for me. After working my shoulders for a while, he moved back to my ass. For some reason, every strike felt like it was rubbing against my pussy, in the best possible way. My love knows me so well and alternated between the breezy bamboo stick and his very very warm hand. It drove me crazy. He then started spanking my pussy, which felt sublime, and I expressed as much to him and he has agreed to play with it more.
After a while, I was allowed to suck his cock as he spanked me. I have read all over the place about this elusive thing called riding the wave. Basically the way it was described to me was that you get so many jolts of endorphins that you begin to just feel like it is a wave, and enjoying it and relaxing in it is considered riding the wave. Last night is the closest I have come. Every feeling was pleasure. His hand on my ass, his cock in my mouth. My taste buds felt like they were cumming, just from being able to touch his cock.
After some time, he began to fuck me. It felt so lovely, to be completely shaved and soaking wet, because you better believe I was, and getting fucked. It was very intense, very deep and hard, yet tender. The word that would describe last night was tender, above anything else. Everything was just infused with love, and I could feel it more than ever. I believe that building a scene uses tension, and when there is tension in real life, then it gets melded into the tension of the scene, making the release that much stronger.
After we had both cum, my love decided he wanted to fuck my asshole. He started out very slow and steady and I could feel my mind bursting in joy. I have seriously become a huge fan of anal sex with my love, more than ever before. After I came a second time (Of course, after asking permission) my love mumbled something I did not quite hear at the time, but a moment later realized he had said "Your ass is squeezing my cock off." I guess that was the effect of the second orgasm! He quickly came after that and after we had both finished, we stayed there for sometime... I am not sure how long, but I think it was a while. Just very still, his cock in my ass, the blindfold still on. At that point, I began floating. My mind just detached from my body and I felt like I was in a tank without gravity. I felt like I was in a world without gravity. I knew that as soon as I was touched I would come back down (At this point I was so unaware of things that i did not realize that his cock was still in my ass) but he let me stay that way for a while. And when I was ready to come down, I moved back a little and my ass touched him and I was suddenly in our bedroom, with him behind me. We collapsed and worked on catching our breath and ended up in the shower soon after to clean up.
The shower seems to be a ritual for us. We share them and laugh in them. It is intimate in such a profound way, yet not sexual at all. I hate showering alone and am so glad that my love indulges me and lets me shower with him. We talked and laughed and reminisced about what just happened. Apparently he had been talking to me through the whole scene... and I remembered none of it. It was very surreal to have him tell me all that he was saying and me not remembering any of it at all. We laughed and hugged and then curled up in bed with some ice cream and watched some shows before we both went to sleep, completely satisfied, comfortable, relaxed, and in love.
Monday, July 30, 2007
Alone
Its been a long time since I've updated this... I suppose its about time I did (Especially since my love's computer finally let me, and because he requests I write something). I guess lately I've just been looking at writing as something pointless. I miss conversing with people through writing and writing to myself, or to the possible 2 people that read this feels a little less than satisfying. Not to mention writing makes me feel like a failure because I can't help but think of school when I write things and well, to open that can of worms might not be best here, in a blog made for what this one is.
Today I am feeling in a completely sex-less mood. I don't even crave it. I just feel very odd, very distant and not me, even in my skin. Even my thoughts feel weird in my head. What I mean is that I am discovering new thoughts I never thought before. I am discovering in me a dominant side that wants out, and wants to be used. I don't know if this is something I want or only something I think I want. It is all very confusing for me and I need more people to talk to about it. The problem is I only have my love to talk to about it, which is wonderful, but it seems like something he cannot really relate to. He has known his 'role' and seems to not question it or desire something else. I love what I have, don't get me wrong. My submission is something I enjoy and love, but for a year I am not going to have that and where does that leave me? Is this dominant side in me rearing its head because I am afraid I am losing something and need to compensate? I have no clue and I need someone else to talk to about it. I don't know that I feel comfortable enough with talking to anyone I know right now about it. Of course my love and I share everything about it with him.... but it is still nagging at me. I don't know what it is at all, and I seem to be saying that a lot in this writing. Right now I am just not sure of so much... everything just feels like it was thrown into a box, sealed for a bit, shaken up, and then opened up. I feel like my brain has been Fed-Exed, and we all know the lovely conditions of things that are shipped through fed-ex.
Something inside of me is not right and I don't know what it is. I don't sleep well, and when I do, I can't sleep without dreaming so I feel exhausted even though I sleep all day. I can't think straight and am starting to get very restless. I need something to do. I am not used to not having a million things to do, and now I have nothing to do at all and it is getting to me. Maybe its the new birth control pills affecting me, maybe its homesickness for New York, or maybe it is the fear of going back to New York after 8 months. I see it with apprehension, excitement and loathing. I do not want to be alone, and I will be.
Today I am feeling in a completely sex-less mood. I don't even crave it. I just feel very odd, very distant and not me, even in my skin. Even my thoughts feel weird in my head. What I mean is that I am discovering new thoughts I never thought before. I am discovering in me a dominant side that wants out, and wants to be used. I don't know if this is something I want or only something I think I want. It is all very confusing for me and I need more people to talk to about it. The problem is I only have my love to talk to about it, which is wonderful, but it seems like something he cannot really relate to. He has known his 'role' and seems to not question it or desire something else. I love what I have, don't get me wrong. My submission is something I enjoy and love, but for a year I am not going to have that and where does that leave me? Is this dominant side in me rearing its head because I am afraid I am losing something and need to compensate? I have no clue and I need someone else to talk to about it. I don't know that I feel comfortable enough with talking to anyone I know right now about it. Of course my love and I share everything about it with him.... but it is still nagging at me. I don't know what it is at all, and I seem to be saying that a lot in this writing. Right now I am just not sure of so much... everything just feels like it was thrown into a box, sealed for a bit, shaken up, and then opened up. I feel like my brain has been Fed-Exed, and we all know the lovely conditions of things that are shipped through fed-ex.
Something inside of me is not right and I don't know what it is. I don't sleep well, and when I do, I can't sleep without dreaming so I feel exhausted even though I sleep all day. I can't think straight and am starting to get very restless. I need something to do. I am not used to not having a million things to do, and now I have nothing to do at all and it is getting to me. Maybe its the new birth control pills affecting me, maybe its homesickness for New York, or maybe it is the fear of going back to New York after 8 months. I see it with apprehension, excitement and loathing. I do not want to be alone, and I will be.
Wednesday, July 4, 2007
Echos
Last night I got a response from a friend of mine to some pictures I sent out to some people (I have 2 friends interested in BDSM, aside from the people I have met in Iceland in the scene here). The pictures are the result of a fun night in which me and my love played with learning my limits. My breasts are usually not very sensitive. Although they are not sensitive, I love having them whipped, cropped, hit, spanked, you name it. One of my love's friend is in the scene and his sub made us a beautiful whip made of braided lanyard. It has a whip like ending, but the strings are short. I also don't like sting when it comes to play, so immediately I was more interested in the braided end. We both found that it is perfect for playing with my breasts.
So one night last week, after a scene with the braid I told my love "You know, you could go harder on my breasts." He was intrigued and we started exploring how much I could take, although not in a usual scene set up for us. Usually during scene I do not comment, and usually only grunt, moan, gasp and ask if I can cum (Something that I have been doing for the last 2 months. With the exception of one time that I have orgasmed, each one has been with my love's permission). This exploration was different. It was more relaxed and more of a game. He started hitting my breasts with the braid and we were joking and laughing throughout. I was telling him when he could go harder and when he was reaching a limit. It was extremely useful because now when we use the braid, he knows how hard he can or has to hit to make me just as satisfied as him when it is being used. I enjoyed it so much and we were able to then use the braid later on with more effect on the other breast a few days later, which I enjoyed as well.
My friend who saw the pictures was concerned, asking if things had gotten out of hand. I very very quickly told him no, that I asked for it, and not in some metaphoric type "I only get hit because I ask for it" kind of abusive way, but a very literal "Please hit me harder, love of my life" kind of kinky way. The one thing I know about the relationship that my love and I have is that there is trust and communication, probably more than I have ever experienced.
From scene stuff to everyday life, to past experienced and feelings, there is nothing I do not share willingly with my love. We have built a relationship that is so strong and means so much to us both. Never in my life have I felt this kind of intensity and trust in someone that was not in my family. Which is a main reason why I want to make him a part of my family, and make a family with him.
When it comes to scene stuff, we discuss everything. We do various checklists and talk about any fantasies we may have or any interests. Even interests we are not willing to try yet, but are curious about. Each and every thing that we have done, we have both expressed an interest or a curiosity for. I am also confident that it will never cross the line into the realm of "out of hand." This is the reason I have a safeword. Even when gagged we have a signal for "you are reaching my limit" and "stop everything right now." I also know that during play, if I request something not be used, then chances are it won't be. The lucky thing with my love, and I will quote him on this one, is that he said "Toys are just that- toys." Meaning that in order to play, we can use them, but we don't have to at all. Some very intense sessions have come out of just him and me, his hands, his voice, his will. I respond to him in such a strong way. I think the world would be a happier place if everyone were in a healthy BDSM relationship. And by healthy I mean always open, always communicating and both partners getting what they want and being satisfied.
The other day we went to a sculpture museum. On the second floor, we found the thing that we enjoyed the most. The ceiling of the second floor was constructed in a dome, and if you stood in the center of the room, turned your head and spoke, the echo would throw your voice to be all around, and it sounded like it was some kind of heavenly chamber, straight up out of a movie. We laughed and played and kissed and listened to ourselves and each other. While I chose to speak and use words, my love chose to hum and hold musical notes to hear them vibrate. I think we both enjoyed kissing the most and hearing the sound of our kisses as coming from the sky. Later on that night, we were cuddling and me being constantly squirming and trying to find a comfortable position, ended up with his arm around me, hand laying on my shoulder, his arm on my chest. As we were drifting towards sleep, I murmured to him "I am yours forever." He hummed a content sigh, and with his arm the way it was, it echoed, much like it had in the museum and I realized, not only is it like heaven, but what we have between us has more worth than all of the great sculptures and paintings and artifacts in all museums combined. And I would not trade it for the world.
So one night last week, after a scene with the braid I told my love "You know, you could go harder on my breasts." He was intrigued and we started exploring how much I could take, although not in a usual scene set up for us. Usually during scene I do not comment, and usually only grunt, moan, gasp and ask if I can cum (Something that I have been doing for the last 2 months. With the exception of one time that I have orgasmed, each one has been with my love's permission). This exploration was different. It was more relaxed and more of a game. He started hitting my breasts with the braid and we were joking and laughing throughout. I was telling him when he could go harder and when he was reaching a limit. It was extremely useful because now when we use the braid, he knows how hard he can or has to hit to make me just as satisfied as him when it is being used. I enjoyed it so much and we were able to then use the braid later on with more effect on the other breast a few days later, which I enjoyed as well.
My friend who saw the pictures was concerned, asking if things had gotten out of hand. I very very quickly told him no, that I asked for it, and not in some metaphoric type "I only get hit because I ask for it" kind of abusive way, but a very literal "Please hit me harder, love of my life" kind of kinky way. The one thing I know about the relationship that my love and I have is that there is trust and communication, probably more than I have ever experienced.
From scene stuff to everyday life, to past experienced and feelings, there is nothing I do not share willingly with my love. We have built a relationship that is so strong and means so much to us both. Never in my life have I felt this kind of intensity and trust in someone that was not in my family. Which is a main reason why I want to make him a part of my family, and make a family with him.
When it comes to scene stuff, we discuss everything. We do various checklists and talk about any fantasies we may have or any interests. Even interests we are not willing to try yet, but are curious about. Each and every thing that we have done, we have both expressed an interest or a curiosity for. I am also confident that it will never cross the line into the realm of "out of hand." This is the reason I have a safeword. Even when gagged we have a signal for "you are reaching my limit" and "stop everything right now." I also know that during play, if I request something not be used, then chances are it won't be. The lucky thing with my love, and I will quote him on this one, is that he said "Toys are just that- toys." Meaning that in order to play, we can use them, but we don't have to at all. Some very intense sessions have come out of just him and me, his hands, his voice, his will. I respond to him in such a strong way. I think the world would be a happier place if everyone were in a healthy BDSM relationship. And by healthy I mean always open, always communicating and both partners getting what they want and being satisfied.
The other day we went to a sculpture museum. On the second floor, we found the thing that we enjoyed the most. The ceiling of the second floor was constructed in a dome, and if you stood in the center of the room, turned your head and spoke, the echo would throw your voice to be all around, and it sounded like it was some kind of heavenly chamber, straight up out of a movie. We laughed and played and kissed and listened to ourselves and each other. While I chose to speak and use words, my love chose to hum and hold musical notes to hear them vibrate. I think we both enjoyed kissing the most and hearing the sound of our kisses as coming from the sky. Later on that night, we were cuddling and me being constantly squirming and trying to find a comfortable position, ended up with his arm around me, hand laying on my shoulder, his arm on my chest. As we were drifting towards sleep, I murmured to him "I am yours forever." He hummed a content sigh, and with his arm the way it was, it echoed, much like it had in the museum and I realized, not only is it like heaven, but what we have between us has more worth than all of the great sculptures and paintings and artifacts in all museums combined. And I would not trade it for the world.
Ice
So, this whole writing everyday thing doesn't always work out right. I tend not to do it. Right now I am curled up in bed, probably one of the last days we will be staying in this bed as we will most likely get the keys to our new place today! (GLEE!) Life is exciting. We picked out a bed yesterday that is very nice and has some bars that will be so yummy for BDSM fun! I am looking forward to it.
At Ikea, we also found some fun ice cube trays... stars, hearts and these long tubes that you can make ice cubes with... My love's friend had been telling us about the tube ones, so when we found them, we bought them. They are very fun! My love has gotten into the habit of telling me what toys he plans on using and sometimes makes me get them myself. Last night the list was as follows: pin wheel, clothespins, buttplug (which was put into the refrigerator) ice. To this I added my ball gag and a massage lotion candle and viva cream ( really nice tingly gel stuff).
He started off with just dripping cold water on my body, making me squirm and squeak, which he enjoyed quite a bit. Then he finally started putting the ice on me. It was almost too much to handle, but I ended up being okay. He slid the ice around my nipples, making them nice and hard, then traced a line down the center of my body to my pussy. He teased me a bit, letting the water just drip onto me (when he finally got the hang of aiming the drops) and then put the ice itself on my skin. It was intense. He then slid this tube of ice into my pussy and I laid there squirming and whining. He also enjoyed that.
After that, he moved back up to my nipples and made sure they were still hard. He then attached 2 clothespins, one on each nipple. After that he made some designs on the rest of my breasts using the clothespins. The ones on my breasts did not hurt right away, but my nipples were stinging. He then went back to playing with ice and put the gag in my mouth. After that he slowly took off the clothespins. Each pin feels like a punch when it is coming off. The intensity of the blood rushing back is insane. I had never had pins on anything but my nipples before, so I did not expect it to hurt. But it did. Each one came off with a jolt and a scream, muffled by the gag. I enjoyed every second of it.
After that the butt plug was put in. It felt so wonderful, nice and cold. I really enjoy that thing. It is beautiful, clear glass. Well, probably not glass, but it looks and feels like glass. Very smooth and kinda bigger than I expected for my first butt plug, but I can't complain! Then he started using the pinwheel. That thing I don't fully like, but I see its use. It has never hurt me, but it intimidates me. He ran it up and down my back, which is very sensitive and then finally reached over to the side to get a condom. At this point he also put some viva cream on me. He fucked my pussy for a little while, with the butt plug still in (something we both love) and then he pulled the buttplug out and fucked my ass.
All of it felt so good. We both came and glowed in the after-fuck for quite a while. We laid there and talked, he let me play with the pinwheel on myself as well as on him. It sometimes helps me be less afraid of it, or less intimidated by it.
After that we relaxed for a very long while, just enjoying each others company. We ended up watching Bringing Up Baby and giggling and laughing. When it was over, I was horny again and decided to sit on my love's stomach to let him know, so I ended up straddling him and sure enough, he responded and before I knew it, his cock was poking me where I sat. We ended up fucking again and it was fantastic. Very deep, very loving (well, all of our sex is loving) and intense. My love came and he pulled out and started fingering me, which I love (I love it even more because his knuckles are so sensitive, so when he fingers me, he ends up gasping just as much as me. So fun!) after I came for a third time that night, he asked me if I wanted to cum again. I said yes and he said I could have a break... and began slowly counting down from 10. By the time he reached 1 I was so horny and ready to cum again. It took less than 3 minutes until I came again. I collapsed and we cuddled, then took a nice cool shower.
At Ikea, we also found some fun ice cube trays... stars, hearts and these long tubes that you can make ice cubes with... My love's friend had been telling us about the tube ones, so when we found them, we bought them. They are very fun! My love has gotten into the habit of telling me what toys he plans on using and sometimes makes me get them myself. Last night the list was as follows: pin wheel, clothespins, buttplug (which was put into the refrigerator) ice. To this I added my ball gag and a massage lotion candle and viva cream ( really nice tingly gel stuff).
He started off with just dripping cold water on my body, making me squirm and squeak, which he enjoyed quite a bit. Then he finally started putting the ice on me. It was almost too much to handle, but I ended up being okay. He slid the ice around my nipples, making them nice and hard, then traced a line down the center of my body to my pussy. He teased me a bit, letting the water just drip onto me (when he finally got the hang of aiming the drops) and then put the ice itself on my skin. It was intense. He then slid this tube of ice into my pussy and I laid there squirming and whining. He also enjoyed that.
After that, he moved back up to my nipples and made sure they were still hard. He then attached 2 clothespins, one on each nipple. After that he made some designs on the rest of my breasts using the clothespins. The ones on my breasts did not hurt right away, but my nipples were stinging. He then went back to playing with ice and put the gag in my mouth. After that he slowly took off the clothespins. Each pin feels like a punch when it is coming off. The intensity of the blood rushing back is insane. I had never had pins on anything but my nipples before, so I did not expect it to hurt. But it did. Each one came off with a jolt and a scream, muffled by the gag. I enjoyed every second of it.
After that the butt plug was put in. It felt so wonderful, nice and cold. I really enjoy that thing. It is beautiful, clear glass. Well, probably not glass, but it looks and feels like glass. Very smooth and kinda bigger than I expected for my first butt plug, but I can't complain! Then he started using the pinwheel. That thing I don't fully like, but I see its use. It has never hurt me, but it intimidates me. He ran it up and down my back, which is very sensitive and then finally reached over to the side to get a condom. At this point he also put some viva cream on me. He fucked my pussy for a little while, with the butt plug still in (something we both love) and then he pulled the buttplug out and fucked my ass.
All of it felt so good. We both came and glowed in the after-fuck for quite a while. We laid there and talked, he let me play with the pinwheel on myself as well as on him. It sometimes helps me be less afraid of it, or less intimidated by it.
After that we relaxed for a very long while, just enjoying each others company. We ended up watching Bringing Up Baby and giggling and laughing. When it was over, I was horny again and decided to sit on my love's stomach to let him know, so I ended up straddling him and sure enough, he responded and before I knew it, his cock was poking me where I sat. We ended up fucking again and it was fantastic. Very deep, very loving (well, all of our sex is loving) and intense. My love came and he pulled out and started fingering me, which I love (I love it even more because his knuckles are so sensitive, so when he fingers me, he ends up gasping just as much as me. So fun!) after I came for a third time that night, he asked me if I wanted to cum again. I said yes and he said I could have a break... and began slowly counting down from 10. By the time he reached 1 I was so horny and ready to cum again. It took less than 3 minutes until I came again. I collapsed and we cuddled, then took a nice cool shower.
Sunday, July 1, 2007
The Morning
This morning, well, afternoon really, I was happily awoken to the sound of my love's cell phone ringing. It was our new land lords telling us that we will be signing the contract for our new home tonight. This is the first home that I will share with someone of my choosing, which is a very big deal for me. I am finally becoming that adult I've been pretending to be for the last year.
After the initial phone call, I rolled over and curled up to my love, very happily. He woke up in a very dominant mood and we laid there for a half hour, with him just stroking my face, holding me and petting me. I have never in my life felt more loved and adored by someone in my life. I consider myself to lucky to have my lover as my best friend, my dom and someday my husband. I have dreamed of love like this, but never have I experienced it.
My love's sister mentioned last night how brave I am for coming to Iceland, not knowing the language. To be fair, this is not the first place I have come to not knowing the language, and it is not like I traveled halfway around the world from New York City to be here for him only. I spent the last semester studying in Amsterdam, and so it only seemed natural that once me and my love got together that I would spend some of my summer with him. So far, it is proving to be a magical time. Please don't be under the impression that we're just in that honeymoon floating phase of a relationship where nothing is wrong. We are actually facing many challenges that we will face in the rest of our lives. He is terribly affirming of my wishes and dreams, and even just my normal thoughts.
Last night was a very nice night. During the ride to the airport, the sun gave us a show, giving the illusion it was setting, setting the sky on fire in pink and orange clouds. It was so amazing. As we drove, there were some rock sculptures on the horizon that looked like an entire fleet of Viking ships flying towards us. It was stunning. It also felt symbolic... I felt like it was the true start of a new beginning. I feel like my life is starting up at this point, and I am ready to run with it.
After the initial phone call, I rolled over and curled up to my love, very happily. He woke up in a very dominant mood and we laid there for a half hour, with him just stroking my face, holding me and petting me. I have never in my life felt more loved and adored by someone in my life. I consider myself to lucky to have my lover as my best friend, my dom and someday my husband. I have dreamed of love like this, but never have I experienced it.
My love's sister mentioned last night how brave I am for coming to Iceland, not knowing the language. To be fair, this is not the first place I have come to not knowing the language, and it is not like I traveled halfway around the world from New York City to be here for him only. I spent the last semester studying in Amsterdam, and so it only seemed natural that once me and my love got together that I would spend some of my summer with him. So far, it is proving to be a magical time. Please don't be under the impression that we're just in that honeymoon floating phase of a relationship where nothing is wrong. We are actually facing many challenges that we will face in the rest of our lives. He is terribly affirming of my wishes and dreams, and even just my normal thoughts.
Last night was a very nice night. During the ride to the airport, the sun gave us a show, giving the illusion it was setting, setting the sky on fire in pink and orange clouds. It was so amazing. As we drove, there were some rock sculptures on the horizon that looked like an entire fleet of Viking ships flying towards us. It was stunning. It also felt symbolic... I felt like it was the true start of a new beginning. I feel like my life is starting up at this point, and I am ready to run with it.
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